How I found my peace, purpose, and the feeling that I’m where I’m supposed to be January 7, 2010Posted by Michelle, with dignity in Uncategorized.
Since the beginning of my blog, I’ve been searching for my “something” else.
And I don’t know when, and I’m not really sure how I came upon it, but one day, sometime in the last year, I felt like I’ve found my purpose, what I live for, my “something” that I spent so many years yearning for.
I wish I could tell everyone what I did, or what was said, or what I thought when I found my peace. I want to help other people find that calm and solace that happens when you no longer feel like there’s a constant hole in your heart, and pull for something “more”.
I see it in coworkers and friends (and coworkers who are friends), and I tell them that their depression, their longing, their want is normal, it’s pretty much the typical quarter-life crisis, when you see that a freaking quarter of your life gone, poof – just like that, and you still don’t know what the eff you’re doing with it.
What did I do? I read some philosophy, some ancient, some modern. I read some literature. Some old, and some new. I did a lot of crafting. And a lot of introspection, and that dug up a lot of shit I didn’t really like about myself. So, I changed it. And I looked for the positive. And while I have a job that doesn’t necessarily provide trust funds for posterity, it provides me with a little joy in my day to day. Because I like making people smile, and an easy way to do that is to ask them how their day was when they come in for a coffee or latte.
So, perhaps my best advice is not to go on a giant epic search for that thing that makes you happy. Perhaps it is to find that thing that makes you happy where you are today, right now, and in this space. With the cards that you were dealt today. And once you can find that, I think more falls into place.