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Yet another day. October 15, 2009

Posted by Michelle, with dignity in Uncategorized.
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I really really wish the weather wasn’t so gloomy lately.  Because my mood is gloomy, and the weather is gloomy, so not only am I in a funk, it’s developing into a serious funk.

I’ve never really been one in the past to dwell on what-might-have-beens or should-have-beens or could-have-beens, and I guess that’s not really the way I’m feeling right now either, I just don’t know how else to define it.  There’s no sense is thinking about all of the what-might-have-beens if the miscarriage had never happened, and I’ve been good.

But it hurts.  Not every day, and not all the time, but the pregnancy would be halfway over now.  And it’s hard not to think about how we’d be finding out genders and starting to look for crib sheets and what not.

And to add insult to injury, I got a stark reminder this week that we aren’t pregnant again, complete with back aches, head aches, moodiness and cramps from hell that have lasted days.  Because having a period in itself isn’t painful enough right now, I had to get cramps like none other (that I’ve had) to go with it.

I’m just trying not to be a sad sack, but I can’t help but be bummed when the weather is like this, and I have way too much on my mind right now.

I just have to keep repeating, “after all, tomorrow is another day”.

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Comments»

1. J. - October 15, 2009

It’s such an awful cliche, but it does get easier. You stop thinking about it so much, and can look back (and forward) with hope.

Come visit me and have a second summer!

2. Bluebelle - October 16, 2009

I’m sorry. One day it will happen I’m sure.

3. Brianne - October 16, 2009

Here’s hoping the sun comes out to shine on you very soon!!


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