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Everything I needed to know about life, I learned from working at Starbucks, part IX November 24, 2008

Posted by Michelle, with dignity in relationships, starbucks.
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Yesterday was a roller coaster of emotion.  After some work drama, my friend Lindsay and I went to see “Twilight” again.  But the work drama kept getting more dramatic.  I was so angry – I literally felt betrayed by a coworker.  And it wasn’t simply just that my coworker let me down, it’s that I’ve (we’ve, really) done so much to try to build this partner up and she just continually abuses our good graces.  Abuses our trust, our kindness and willingness to help others out.  

When does one begin to cut that out?  When should a person put “being nice” aside?  And, in a place where being friendly (or becoming friends) makes work so much better, how does one cut off a friendship like that?  How many tries (some call it chances) should you give before you give up on someone?

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1. Holly - November 24, 2008

you are by character a kind person and that will not change. (and it shouldn’t) however, situations like these help us create boundaries. so although you will continue to show kindness you may find it easier to say NO to this person and probably wont rely on her for much of anything. it’s like our girl oprah says “when someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time” not everyone is capable of living with dignity.

love you.

2. Kait - November 24, 2008

Don’t forget the true meaning of kindness either. Is it truly the kindest act to indulge into someone’s immaturity? Or is it the kindest act to approach them in a serious yet loving way and help them correct their life? Because true kindness (or true love) will always act in the best interest of the other person – the real best interest, not the shallow, temporary interest.

It’s horrifying how 2 years ago I was almost her. I almost left my house. I had a friend to live with. I wanted to date. I wanted my parents to fade from my life. I wanted the rake freedom only unsupervision would allow. I, by God’s grace, survived this rebellion, and have become more of the person I want to be because of making the right decision (which, for me, is to stay home). I know I’m where I should be. But I almost wasn’t. Thank God he guides me! Now I’ll graduate with a respectable degree in a year and a half with no debt and a hunger to start my new adult life!

3. dreamstela - November 25, 2008

Holly – thank you for the vote of confidence! I should listen to Oprah more often.

Kait – While I realize that the most kind thing wouldn’t be just letting go, I’m having a hard time continually trying to be a loving caring coworker and friend who tries to help guide and life coach, but continually gets hurt. How much longer should I continue that path while it hurts me? Not that I expect any easy answers, it’s just something I’ll have to think about.

4. Kait - November 26, 2008

I apologize… at first I didn’t understand your hurt. Certainly that would be a destructive relationship to pursue. Ours is strictly work based with light friendship, so it would be easier for me to avoid feeling taken advantage of, and give her a piece of my mind if she asked for it. *sigh* I want her to be happy! I wish I could help…


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