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Blogiverse October 4, 2008

Posted by Michelle, with dignity in relationships.
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I found a blog today.  Well, to be honest, I found it months ago.  I’m not linking to it because I don’t want them back over here.  

The blog has multiple authors, two of which have significant roles in my history.  Two of which I no longer consider friends, who I once considered in the highest regard, and no longer have anything to say to.  

I thought I had something to say to one awhile back, but once I thought about it, realized it was setting myself up for hurt.  So I cut that cord.  Again.  One I’d cut thousands of times.  

And whilst reading today, I am reminded exactly why I am better off for cutting that cord. 

She considers many of the people in her past to be worthless.  Sad.  If you don’t fit her mold, you’re not worth her time.  I’ve experienced that myself countless times.  Here’s another good reason.  On her certain social networking site, she’s a member of a “don’t be an antiwar hippie” group.  Well.  Those are two words I’ve defined myself by for awhile now, years and years, “antiwar” and “hippie”.  Seriously.  Ouch.  

It’s just obvious to me that there is absolutely no reason for the two of to have ever been friends in the past, much less present or future.  It’s shocking to realize that I spent over 20 years of my 25 year life trying to be someone she wanted to have around, and then come to find out that she never really wanted me around anyway.  That she now considers me to be worthless because I don’t fit her paradigm.  

Ouch. 

Sometimes I wish the blogiverse wasn’t so freaking small.  But, it’s good to know where one stands in the eyes of their adversaries.  Hah!

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Comments»

1. Lily - October 5, 2008

You’re WAY better off now. Kudos for cutting out such a toxic person in your life.

2. Holly - October 6, 2008

the bumper sticker says it best…mean people suck.

3. Visitor - October 6, 2008

The blogosphere is certainly small. If you can find her, she can find you. Knowing where one stands in the eyes of their adversaries indeed.

4. dreamstela - October 7, 2008

To my visitor –
I’ve never tried to hide at all. She can find me anytime she wants, and I’ve nothing to hide.
I just have to wonder who you are, since you posted from the UAH campus.

5. dimwell - October 7, 2008

The plot thickens!

dun dun dunnnnn.

6. Rhodes - October 7, 2008

Here’s what I find odd. You’ve cut the cord, but you’re going through her blog and Facebook groups to find something to get offended over.

I think you’re putting your name where it wasn’t intended, and causing hurt feelings where you were better off leaving things alone. You should know that there’s exactly one worthless person in her past she would spend sleepless nights over. And by the way, you were the first to call him worthless. Cheers.

7. dreamstela - October 7, 2008

I’m not looking for things to be offended by. I stumble across things from time to time when I’m procrastinating as I know we all do. It’s like a train wreck, except in my case I’m hoping there’s no wreck and the train is hunky dory. While looking in morbid fascination I see things. I’m not offended because I simply no longer care what people think of me. It just hurts knowing the energy I put trying to be something she wanted.

8. dimwell - October 7, 2008

@Rhodes: “Cheers.”? Seriously?

What a supremely condescending slap in the face.

9. Another proud anti war hippie - October 8, 2008

You sure do see things.

You have a guilty conscious. And you’re looking for things to justify your actions in her blog and facebook. When you do find some miniscule thing, that has nothing to do with you, you blow it out of proportion. And then you have to write a hurtful blog to poke at wounds and to get reinforcement from your friends here. To make sure you really did do the “right thing”. Why else for the love of god would you associate yourself with those she considers worthless? That’s a really low level there. Surely you can’t feel that guilty.

I wonder why you keep having chances to cut the cord… History, unfortunately, repeats itself. You ought to know that.

Another note, she doesn’t have any of those molds you’re talking about. Never did. If she did, I would have been kicked to the curb long ago. Being the proud anti war hippie that I am.

-sigh- You were better off leaving well enough alone.

10. dreamstela - October 8, 2008

I absolutely have no guilt associated with the situation. I know I said and did hurtful things, but the other party isn’t innocent either. What I did was done out of self preservation and sometimes knee-jerk reactions to something hurtful. I’m not blowing anything out of proportion.

Here’s the truth of the matter. She was a sister to me. A goddamned sister And she shit on me. Repeatedly. If she feels it was reciprocal, then it’s simply because we had no business being friends in the first place because we were too different. That is the conclusion that I’ve drawn, and I feel no guilt. I feel love for her, and compassion, and I wish her the best. But yes I’m hurt by her. And even in the face of one of the hardest days of my life to date, she hurt me when I thought things could have gotten better. It’s a scab, and I keep cutting it open over and over because she was like blood.

She does have molds. She’s always had molds. If she doesn’t hold you to the same molds she held me to, great. Wait. I don’t know who the hell you are, so there’s no way for me to know if you really are anti war, and/or a hippie. Anonymity on the internet is better than some Jack Daniel’s. !0 feet tall and bullet proof.

I consider myself in the group of people she deems worthless because she never, ever treated me as anything otherwise.

11. dimwell - October 8, 2008

LMAO. Anonymity is pretty emboldening, isn’t it?

To the “anonymous” rabble rousers: Show your face or show yourself the door. If you have a dog in this debate, let it be known. If you have no business in it, fuck off. Seriously.

12. Dana Dafter - October 8, 2008

Another anti war hippie = Small Baby Dana

13. dimwell - October 8, 2008

@Dana: You just have to twist the knife, eh?

Look, the bottom line is this: Y’all are guilty of not letting this sleeping dog lie. There are hurt feelings on both sides, plenty of miscommunication, and plenty of misunderstanding.

If Candice can say anything she wants on her personal blog, why can Michelle not do the same on her personal blog? Did she pick a fight there, then bring all of her friends with her to shit all over the place? Nope.

Instead, she decided to vent her frustrations and her hurt here, on her personal blog, where she assumed that your collective eyes weren’t watching. Now we know that, for whatever reason, someone has been watching, just waiting for the perfect opportunity to launch an attack.

How fucking ignoble of every single one of you. It’s disappointing to know just how little little has changed in the last three years.

If you want to pick a fight over some petty bullshit (again!), fine. Continue to pick a fight. Just know that you’re probably going to be getting in over your head on this one.

14. dreamstela - October 8, 2008

Thanks for all the blog traffic, y’all! Almost 200 hits in 3 days – damnit that’s pretty popular! A blogger can only dream of those stats…

Since all of our identities are now out on the table, if anyone has anything to say to me (ahem Dana or Shannon), you know where to find me. She doesn’t need you spamming a blog on her behalf to me.

I wouldn’t be worried about my guilt.


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